How often do you manage more than one thing at a time? I can handle two things at once if I have to—talking on the phone and fixing dinner, watching television and folding laundry. But, that’s about my limit.

What if I told you, you had to think about ten things at once?

First, you’d have to stand up really straight and, no matter what else you were doing, you’d have to maintain that posture. Second, you’d have to remember never to look down—you must always keep your head up.

Third, you’d have to learn to count music. Fourth, you’d have to memorize a series of foot, arm, and head movements. Fifth, you’d have to sync those movements with the music. (Wait, are you still standing up straight? Why are you looking at the floor?)

Sixth—for women, you’d be in high heels and moving backwards—oh, wait, did I forget to mention, you have to do this with a partner? You see he gets to go forward, but don’t get too comfortable, guys. You men have to lead your partners using only your feet, body, and hands—no talking, okay?

The seventh thing to think about is that when it’s time to perform, you can’t let the 18 cameras rolling around distract you. Number 8 on the list is ignoring the four people staring at you from behind the raised dais. Trust me, their constructive criticism is only meant to help you.

That brings us to number 9—you have to make sure there’s a lot of chemistry between you and your partner. Should be easy—you will have known each other at least week.

One final thing (number 10)—by the time you hear the announcer say, “It’s time for Dancing With The Stars!” it will be too late to go to the bathroom, so don’t wait until the last minute!